I did something last Thursday that I haven't done in a very long time: I wolfed down three desserts.
I am having tub-o-lard remorse.
The scene of the crime was Jeep's media first drive for its 2012 Wrangler. I'd like to tell you about the vehicle, but relating my experience of the vehicle or the drive is embargoed -- that's journalist speak for "not for publication" -- for another week or so.
You'll have to settle for reading about what I ate.
I had, what for me was, a big breakfast of eggs, bacon and a french doughnut, er, croissant. After which we traveled to a nearby warehouse for a short presentation.
I passed up sampling one of the doughnuts (a real doughnut) covered in icing and Coco Puffs served at the presentation. This and equally decadent offerings are a specialty of a nearby pastry shop. I patted myself on the back for my willpower. It was the only time during the day my willpower raised its ugly head.
Finally, I was on the road with a driving partner in the new Wrangler.
I can't tell you any of this part because of that whole embargo thing.
After 90 minutes or so, we stopped at a roadside deli for an organized driver change. Jeep had made arrangements with the deli for us to help ourselves to anything on the menu because, Lord knows, we hadn't eaten anything in about two hours and a carmaker media event travels on its stomach.
Eat free or die is our mantra.
I wasn't going to have so much as a bottle of water at this first stop, but then I spotted a big slab of homemade cinnamon bun coated in about 1200 calories of white icing. Well I had passed on the Coco Puff-encrusted doughnut earlier, I reasoned, so I was ahead of the game. I grabbed the cinnamon bun and ordered a decaf (gotta watch my caffeine intake, don't ya know) coffee.
It was soooo gooood.
After my 20-minute gorging session, we were back in the Wrangler on our way to lunch.
I can't tell you any of this part because of that confounded embargo.
Lunch, which came a scant 90 minutes after the deli break, was an outdoor affair on the top of a mountain. The site was also the staging area for the off-road portion of the ride and drive.
I can't tell you about off roading in the 2012 Wrangler, well, because of that dang embargo.
Lunch was cold cuts and salads of one kind or another. Among the desserts, though, were these ice cream sandwiches as big as your fist called Fat Boys. Yes, the irony of the name wasn't lost on me. They named the things for what they turn you into.
The one I chose -- dessert No. 2 of the day -- was the equivalent of about two scoops of chocolate ice cream separating two devils-food wafers about two and a half inches square. Mmmmm...
After driving the off-road course -- mums the word -- a couple of times, we motored back to Portland's the Nines Hotel where Jeep was putting us up.
Dinner that night was at the Irving Street Kitchen. The drinks were refreshing, the food more than tasty and the decor very cool. But it was one of the desserts that blew me away.
It was butterscotch pudding -- When was the last time you had pudding? It had been about 10 years for me. -- covered in a layer of caramel and topped off with a dollop of whipped cream.
It was my third dessert of the day. I was only going to taste it, but once I shoveled a spoon of that delightful concoction in my mouth, you couldn't have taken it away from me with a shotgun.
Man, it was wonderful!
The Wrangler was pretty good too. I hope I don't get in trouble for saying that.