Buffalo Trace

Buffalo Trace
From a few years ago, me mugging with the bronze buffalo sculpture at Buffalo Trace Distillery in Kentucky.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Toddlers & Tiaras: What's Even Creepier than a Photo of Anthony Weiner's Junk?

 
I am officially creeped out.

As I was jogging on the treadmill at the gym the other morning, I was watching the Military Channel and saw a promo for a TLC show called "Toddlers & Tiaras." OK, I wasn't jogging; I was briskly walking.

But I did see the promo. "Toddlers & Tiaras"!

It was a 30-second string of images of what appear to be 5- or 6-year olds participating in beauty contests. Determining their age was tough because 1) I don't know that much about kids and 2) they were made up like $10 hookers.

It is JonBenet Ramsey to the tenth power.

I had no idea something this disturbing was on the air. All right, it's not as disturbing as "Jersey Shore," but it's close.

I had to Google "Toddlers & Tiaras" to learn more.

Apparently this look at the underbelly of kiddie beauty pageants has been on TLC since 2009. What?

How did I miss this? I feel like I just came out of a coma and the world went haywire while I was out.

"Oh, Mr. Heaps, after four years you're finally awake. Guess what? We're courting Hamas. And there is a show about pubescent skanks in training on TLC."

"Could you put me back under please?"

This show completed its fifth mini season in February.

Yes, apparently enough people tuned in to this crap that TLC gave it five new runs.

The question isn't what is wrong with TLC, but what in the heck is wrong with us?

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