Keys Disease

Keys Disease
Battling Keys Disease at the Futura Yacht Club in Islamorada, Fla. three years ago.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

As Everywhere Else, Things Are Slow in Hollywood Right Now

Say it ain't so.

I was shocked and dismayed to read the headline that Ryan Phillippe is contemplating abandoning his acting career. (Insert collective gasp here.)

Who is Ryan Phillippe? you may be asking. Exactly.

That anything this guy utters -- other than maybe, "I'm the Long Island Serial Killer" -- should garner any media notice is evidence of a truly slow news day.

I don't mind Phillippe, really. He's an inoffensive personality and an actor of acceptable competence.

His biggest claim to fame was being Mr. Reese Witherspoon. Yes, he has been in a lot of movies, but so has Vincent Schiavelli. And, Vincent is much more recognizable and memorable.



I think most people would have trouble picking Phillippe out of a lineup; particularly if it was out of context.

He is one of those actors, though, who does turn up in a lot of movies. However, a dozen other 30-something guys could be substituted to play those roles without anyone taking notice or it having any real impact on the film.

Apparently Phillippe was bemoaning the fact that he has spent 20 years being chased by the paparazzi and is sick of it. I guess since the Hilton sisters are maintaining a lower profile, there are a lot of paparazzi with nothing better to do than turn their cameras on Phillippe.

My advice to shy Ryan: Stay home.

In other celebrity (or near-celebrity) news: Charlie Sheen seems to be one skank short since porn star Bree Olson jumped the listing Sheen ship.

He made the announcement to a half-filled hall during the Tampa stop of his comedy tour. If the reports are accurate, his break-up (by text message no less) news and a nubile young thing flashing him while on stage were the high points of an otherwise grim performance that included a sincere plea for the audience to help him get his CBS "Two and a Half Men" gig back.

Aw, Charlie, get a grip.

This week's "Oh, Charlie, I Want to be Like You" Award goes to David Arquette, another Hollywood burnout marking time until his next stint in rehab.

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