The Great Wyoming RV Expedition: Day One

 

Everyone looks good at the starting line. Well, nearly everyone. From left: me, Ports and Hal.

I'm not the kind of guy who shies away from an adventure. In fact, in the case of an RV trip from Knoxville to Wolf, Wyoming, I actually instigated it. You may think to yourself, what's the big deal? It's just like driving a big truck, right? Ummm, no.

Here's the thing, we are in uncharted waters. I helped my fraternity brother Hal pickup this 38-ft monster two weeks ago. Up until that point, he hadn't done anything, but research it, walk through it and ask the salesman a few questions. If you are among the RV unwashed as I was a scant 36 hours ago. I did have the benefit of going through the technician walkthrough before Hal actually closed on the deal, but, by in large, I am an RV virgin, a novice, a fledgling, a plebe – you get the picture.

Hal and Ports, my other fraternity brother on this boondoggle, aren't much ahead of me. So, every process is a learning experience. Every issue a Chinese fire drill. As Hal and I followed around the technician as he explained each system on closing day, I videoed the entire walk through. The following week, I edited down more than two hours of video to a more manageable 75 minutes. I have had to drag out my laptop and open up that video file at least five times in the past day and a half to determine how to switch electric sources, get the cabin AC running, drain and flush the waste tanks, and so forth.

Hal spent two days between picking up the RV and leaving on this trip at RV-driving school near Nashville. He has done an amazing job of piloting this battleship down the highway. I, meanwhile, have done a little writing for a client, read, relaxed and napped. I restrained myself from having a beer or a pull from the bottle of James E Pepper 1776 bourbon I brought on this trip until we docked at the Archway RV Park around 4:30 on Saturday. Yes, I'm a saint and an inspiration to my fellow travelers.

So far, we've spent a lot of time doing this.

Besides the fact Illinois has the worst paved surfaces this side of Texas Hill Country, the one thing I've learned is that everything you need to do in operating this vehicle, which I have christened the “Magnificient Bastard,” requires a procedure. Flip this, turn off that, and turn yourself about. It's nuts. As we get deeper into the experience, our hope is the veil will be lifted and things will become ever easier. Hope, however, as my daddy always told me, is for missionaries. So, we'll see.

Today we have miles (470 to be exact) to ge before we sleep, miles to go before we sleep. Destination: Victorian RV Park in Otoe, Nebraska.