To those of you who haven’t moved in
a while, don’t. Having done it twice in the span of a year, I
highly recommend against it – unless it’s to relocate to
Greenville.
As moves go, the most recent was much
less stressful than the previous one which was an exercise in self
restraint. Watching two goons wrap a $200 sofa in $50 worth of clear
tape and plastic to move it three miles is enough to make a guy’s
blood boil. And it wasn't just the sofa; every crappy piece of
furniture in my “1980s Chic” collection got the
three-layers-of-plastic-and-two-rolls-of-tape treatment.
Then of course, when it came time to
settle up – before they would unload anything at the new address –
I discover they won’t take a check, and there is a 10%
premium to use a credit card. This was a surprise because it wasn’t
mentioned booking the truck when they took my credit card without any
sort of premium. For the 40 min it took me to go to the bank,
withdraw the cash and return, they sat on the back of the truck doing
nothing. They then informed me that they would need to add an hour to
the time charged because they had lost the 40 minutes while I was off
“goofing” around. I thought my head would explode.
Fortunately I didn't stroke out while dressing down the head felon in charge. |
Launching into “bad Russ” mode, I
dressed down the head felon like a drill sergeant in the face of a
fresh recruit. I eventually lied and told him I was an editor for the
Sun Sentinel – Ft. Lauderdale's newspaper – and his company would
be prominently featured in an article about underhanded practices by
South Florida moving companies. He got on the phone to his office
that apparently instructed him to just unload the truck and forget
about the trumped-up additional charge. Problem solved!
I swore never to use a moving company
again. My $650 estimate morphed into a nearly $1,000 final bill.
Three miles!
Keeping this promise to myself, the
last move was much less stressful.
Word: A little elbow grease versus a
stroke-inducing meltdown is highly preferable.
My move from South Florida to
Greenville was by PODS.
The PODS people did
exactly what they promised when they promised. They managed to place
my PODS exactly where I asked on the parking pad in front of my
Boynton rental villa (I was at work for the delivery); picked it up
on time; delivered it to the house in Greenville on the date
promised; and my stuff arrived unharmed.
In Boynton the “gang” showed up on
Sunday morning and we were loaded up in under three hours. It’s
amazing how much one of those PODS will hold.
I spent the next morning sorting
through all of the little odds and ends that, for whatever reason,
didn’t make it into a box. This is when stuff just gets pitched out
because you simply are tired of dealing with the flotsam of your
life. Am I ever going to need three styrofoam coolers? I also cleaned
the joint.
I had an extended multi-beer lunch with
Hollie and dinner with Hollie, Amy and Scott. I spent my last night
as a South Floridian at Amy’s. I knew the next morning was going to
be rough. Amy and her clan are as close to family as I have in
Florida. I would have preferred to simply skulk out of the house at 5
AM without any goodbyes, but that wasn’t an option. We got the
girls off to school and I managed to have my goodbye with Amy without
turning into a puddle.
Now to the part of the move that would
really be challenging: the cats.
Rambo in his typical state of sleep. |
Rambo – my older male – was an
adapter. He had lived in five homes, plus survived little extended
vacations in two other homes before this move. Feed him, scratch his
back and give him a place to sleep 18 hours a day and he was fine.
Jazz – the younger female – not so much.
Already freaked because I had to shut
both cats in the guest bathroom to keep them from running out the
door on loading-the-POD day; and when finally released, they charged
out of the bathroom to discover all the familiar stuff was gone, Jazz
hadn’t eaten or drank anything (so much for doctoring her food and
water with kitty tranqs) since early Sunday morning. She was out and
about on Tuesday morning when I returned to load them into the car
for the drive to Greenville, but never took her eyes off me. She was
aware something was up and wasn’t taking any chances.
Jazz: Always on high alert at DEFCON 1. |
I figured I would only have one bite of
this apple and planned my strategy accordingly. After loading the
last of the stuff into the Yukon that GM provided for this excursion,
I took a shower. I decided to attempt getting Jazz into her carrier
while wearing just my undershorts. This decision was based on my
experience trying to load her into a cat carrier during the last
move. An effort resulting in my shirt being shredded, my hands and
arms bloodied, and a cat pee shower. I would have done it stark
naked, but as every guy reading this will affirm, you have to have at
least a modicum of protection for Big Jake and the twins.
I padded around the house attempting to
appear relaxed and normal. I circled around her with a hand towel in
my hands. I padded over here and then over there, closing the gap
between her and me with every pass. Finally something in the other
room caught her attention and she took her eyes off me. I lunged for
her, got her partially wrapped in the towel before she knew what was
happening, and sprinted for the cat carrier. She went ballistic. How
8 pounds of cat can turn into a clawing, screaming, hissing crazed
wildcat is something to witness….from afar.
I didn’t have a chance, never did.
Her back legs were free of the towel and when they weren’t gouging
me, they were spreadeagled, preventing me from pushing her completely
through the cat carrier door. It was something akin to trying to
shove a muskmelon through a knothole. Finally I yelled “no mas, no
mas!” and momentarily gave up the struggle. She flew out of my
hands, through the cat door and landed on the screened-in porch. It
was time for attempt No. 2.
“I ain’t goin’ down again, Mick,”
I muttered as bloody and beaten, I approached the porch slider. I
stalked her slowly. Blood ran down my hands and arms and my
tightee-whitees seemed like damn little protection, as I prepared for
round two. The first go around seemed to have drained much of the
fight from her. She just laid there as I approached. I got her
wrapped up and although she struggled and hissed some, I managed to
shove her into the carrier and got the door closed.
I didn’t worry about Rambo. He would
go quietly into the carrier when it was time. He sat patiently by its
open door as I got cleaned up and dressed. After putting him in his
carrier, I put both carriers in the back seat of the Yukon. All it
took was putting the Yukon in gear and rolling six inches to get both
cats began meowing. As we picked up speed, their volume increased.
Now it was a test of wills and nerves.
Mano a gato. I turned up the volume on the radio and tried to
think happy thoughts. Five hours into the trip, near Jacksonville,
Rambo pretty much gave up. He apparently realized that five hours of
non-stop meowing was interfering with his sleep. He zonked out. Jazz
kept it up for another two or three hours. Eventually, though, even
she could only muster an occasional meow. The final two hours of
driving passed in relative peace.
The final destination. |
Arriving in Greenville, I unloaded the
Yukon, leaving the cats in their carriers in the living room. I
needed cat litter and had to run to the store to buy it. At this
point, they had been boxed up for 10 hours. I knew I had to go, so I
figured they did too. After getting their litter box arranged, I
opened the carriers. Rambo sauntered out as though a 10-hour car trip
and arrival at a strange location was something he did everyday. Jazz
crouched in the back of her carrier growling. I put out food and
water, and went to bed.
By the next morning Jazz was out
walking around and only seemed mildly ticked at me. When I opened the
can of wet food, she was right there bumping into my leg along with
Rambo. After eating, she even let me pick her up. Rambo didn’t fare
nearly so well. He caught the brunt of her wrath. He couldn’t get
within two feet of her without her hissing, growling and smacking him
with her paw. He just stood there looking at her like, what did I do?
Things calmed down considerably over
the course of the next few days. My friend, Bob and his wife, Meg’s
uncle rolled into town the same day I arrived to work on one of his
rental properties. Having them to go out to dinner with eased my
transition. When the POD arrived the following Saturday, they came
over and helped get the TV and wine fridge unloaded.
On my second full weekend, Amy, Scott
and Hollie flew up to help me offload the big stuff and, of course,
to do a little Greenville partying.
Jazz finally grew comfortable with her
new surroundings. For Rambo, it was just someplace new to eat and
sleep.
Cats.
It's funny. Three of our four cats will pretty much meow constantly the entire half-hour drive to the vet's -- assuming we have managed to sneak up on them and get them (individually) into the carrier. When it's time to take the fourth one, the one who lived the entire first part of his life outdoors and scrounging for food, goes right into the cage and doesn't let out a peep the entire drive. He's also the only one of the four who is comfortable with either of us picking him up. He sort of looks like Rambo, btw, except scruffier. One of our youngest cats looks very much like Rambo.
ReplyDeleteRambo made cat lovers out of several friends who swore they'd never like cats. He was just a big, friendly, affable lug who liked attention. Jazz is just the opposite.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the moving container rental worked out for you. At least you were moving to a home; some people have actually started building houses out of those containers. I'll bet it was nice not having to ascend a ramp to fill it.
ReplyDeletePaul | azstoragerental.com
I've recommended moving this way to several friends. It was the easiest, most efficient move I've had.
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