Thursday, December 20, 2012
Mayan Doomsday: Don't Begin Any Long Books
If you plan on spending Friday, December 21 sitting on the floor of your basement surrounded by canned goods and bottled water with a baseball bat balanced on your lap, you aren't alone. It seems more than a few of our neighbors expect the world to end on Friday.
What do I think? I am flying to New Mexico on the 21st and only bought a one-way ticket.
No, that's not true. Sadly, I expect I'll be around to make the return trip home.
I have to say, whether it's the end of the world or not, I'm quite fine with it. The way things are going in this country, hardly anyone will notice another crisis.
If my plane falls out of the heavens, I only hope it's after I've received my thimble-sized shot of apple juice and six-nut bag of peanuts. At least I'd feel somewhat like I had gotten my money's worth out of the price of my ticket. Well, if you discount the rush of spiraling 30,000 feet to the ground in an aluminum tube.
No one seems to know exactly what will happen on the 21st if the Mayan scare is realized. Will the earth burn up in some cataclysmic episode? Will some plague grip the world's population? Will Rosie O'Donnell get a prime-time talk show?
I went online to check out some of the predictions. On one of the 12-21-2012 Web sites, the writer attempted to clear up the mystery by speaking with a few Mayans. Here's what he says a Mayan called Beto told him (I'm not making this up.), "The last and current lines of humans were made from corn because humans, like corn, will come from the dirt and follow a similar cycle..."
Seriously? These people think humans somehow sprang from corn, and we're giving weight to predictions they made regarding 2012 some 5,000 years ago? I guess it probably stands a better chance of being correct than Weather.com's prediction for next week's weather; but c'mon.
All I'm saying is that you might not want to empty out whatever's left of your 401k for a spending spree because you think you won't be around on the 22nd.
No doubt you and I both will still be here; and, unfortunately, so will Rosie O'Donnell.