Preparing to shoot a few segments of Big Jon in 5 for BEER2WHISKEY in our upstairs studio at Barley's Taproom in downtown Greenville. That's owner Josh Beebe preparing for his closeup.

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Dreaming the Impossible Dream: It's Time to Lose a Few Pounds

I'm not the kind of guy who obsesses about his weight. Take a look at recent photos of me and that becomes all too apparent. However, every few years I take stock of my girth, and come to the sad conclusion that I need to shift gears and peal off a pound or ten. One of those times is now.

I've gained about 15 pounds in as many months. It all began when I hyperextended my knee taking a poorly planned step off a ladder toward the end of my shed-building project a year ago this past December. Roughly two months passed before I tentatively reentered the gym. Returning my daily cardio workout to pre-injury levels required another two or three months. Moreover, that December was uncharacteristically busy with carmaker media events presenting endless opportunity to eat stuff I shouldn't eat and drink stuff I shouldn't drink. And that was just a ramp up to my holiday eating binge upon which I always embark when visiting my sister in New Mexico at Christmas. Cookies, homemade candy, home-baked bread and other once-a-year treats present an irresistible sirens' call to a weak-willed pushover like me. When my sister offers to make grilled-cheese-and-ham sandwiches for lunch, my response: “Why, yes, I'll take two, please!”

Always the diplomat, Doc Budelmann hasn't scolded me about my gains during my six-month visits, but he always mentions, with a raise of his eyebrows, that the pounds are building. Then there is a pregnant pause as if he expects me to either try and defend the increase or promise to do better, during which I avoid his gaze and ask about the diploma hanging on the exam room wall.

I have been in denial. Every few days I screw up the courage to look at my body in full profile in the mirror, suck in my gut and convince myself the extra weight will magically fall off if I simply think happy thoughts and steer clear of ice cream.

In the past couple of weeks, however, I've had to take a ride around the block on the reality bus: Damn cleaners shrunk my pants again! Yep, I've reached the point where I need to take action. And that action needs to be either moving up a pant size or dropping some poundage. I'm too cheap to buy new clothes; so.....

Now it's time to pay the piper, sleep in the bed I made or whichever cliché you want to trot out to describe my predicament.

Not all that long ago, I pretty much managed my weight with the gym. Put on five pounds over the holidays? A couple of weeks in the gym burned them off. Today, all the gym is good for is maintaining my current weight – whatever that total might be. If I splurge and gain a few pounds, 40 minutes of cardio a day won't take them off. I need to monitor my daily intake. Oh the humanity: That means a diet. Ugh.

In the eight or ten diets I've embarked upon over the years, only one was truly successful. I spent about three months in 2002 or 2003 on a low-carb diet and dropped about the same amount of weight I now find myself in need of losing. That was a tough row to hoe. As far as I'm concerned, life isn't worth living without pasta, fried rice and craft beer.

I made the decision to shift into diet mode as I was standing in the bar at the Hotel Emma in San Antonio's Pearl District waiting for the shuttle to take me to the airport after the Infiniti Q50/QX60 media event. I was hauling down massive gulps of Ballast Point Victory at Sea porter in a courageous attempt to kill the 22-ounce bottle in the 15 minutes before the shuttle's departure. I wasn't entirely successful, but hope to do better with the diet that will begin in earnest after the upcoming Kia Sportage media event in San Diego: home of Ballast Point and Belching Beaver breweries. I mean, I am only human, right?

My goal is 12 pounds by June 1st. It's not going to be pretty.


  1. You can DO it, just walk more, like we did on Bourbon Street, except without the drinking. Or maybe you should start line dancing ;-)

  2. I will be watching this with interest. I, too, am looking to shed about 10-12 pounds or so. The bad thing, had I come up with that goal a month or two ago, I could have reached my target weight by taking off just half that!